If you’re one of those lucky women whose sex drive gets a jumpstart during pregnancy, more power to you. Now is the time to get creative. Pull out the Kama Sutra to find positions that accommodate your growing belly. Go wherever your hormones are taking you!  And while you’re at it, bask lazily in the afterglow without fear of interruption or distracting thoughts of “What’s in the freezer for dinner?”

Eliza: What about those sleep-deprived days/weeks (maybe even months!) with a new baby in house? Where do you think sex needs to fall on the list of priorities, and why?

Julia, Cathy and Stacie: For the three (make that six) of us, sleep always trumped sex during the first few months. In fact, we think that during those crazy early weeks, sleep is more important than sex to the health of your marriage. Sleep deprivation can turn the sanest of women into bottle-wielding shrews, reduce grown men to tears and cause both of you to turn marital molehills into mountains. It can have a terrible impact on your relationship. Your ability to deal with everyday stresses and your partner’s formerly endearing quirks gets dangerously low when you’re trying to get by on a wing, a prayer and a thirty-minute nap. So if it’s a toss-up between sleep and sex, we vote for sleep every time.

Your husband may not agree with that assessment, however. A man’s sex drive is not affected by pregnancy and birth, so in all likelihood, he’s going to have your six-week-post-partum (a.k.a. the-green-light-for-sex) checkup circled in yellow highlighter on his calendar. For many women, six weeks is not quite enough time. If this applies to you, you’ll need to explain to him that it may take you longer than that to get back in the saddle, but do it gently because it is touchy emotional ground for most men. Hundreds of men have told us that they felt sidelined and even rejected when a new baby arrived.

Sex is more than just a physical act to them. It is the way they feel connected to their wives, and even validated as human beings.  Sex is the pathway to true intimacy.  It’s the glue that keeps your marriage together.