What do you say to those parents who ardently feel that babies need to be picked up with each and every cry?

Suzy: I believe your baby is a "gift" you don't get to keep. Your baby will grow and go on to live their own story, their own life. To you was entrusted the task of giving this baby the best physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual care so that he can go on to live that story. It is important to understand that children are learning at every interaction, all the time. Teaching your child to be patient, to wait her turn, to share, that he cannot constantly have his way, will ensure that he will be more prepared for life outside the home. An important thing for parents to remember is that what you don't teach your child, life will, and life is not as kind.

I don't believe your child can develop many of the important sleep skills without some crying. So if you consider these things each time your child is crying, you might reconsider your immediate response.

Lisa: Again it's a short term vs. long term issue. In the short term, you may feel you are doing the best thing for your child and shielding her from an unpleasant experience. But in the long term you are depriving your child of the opportunity to learn a basic life skill. As a parent one of our primary jobs is to help our children master basic life skills so that they can one day live on their own. And Suzy can tell you that not learning good sleep habits early on (by age 5 at the very latest, preferably during the first year) can set your child up for a lifetime of poor sleeping skills and the health problems associated with that. There are lots of scientific studies showing the link between poor sleeping habits and a whole host of health issues such as childhood obesity, attention deficit disorders, drug use, etc.

It is like learning to walk – you could carry your child so that there is no chance he will ever stumble and bump himself and cry. But it is better to hold his hand while he teeters along or stand in front of him with encouraging words, ready to catch him if need be. That is what Suzy's sleep training method is all about – walking the path with your child toward independent sleep skills.